| well I guess that this is growing up... |
[07 Jan 2007|09:57pm] |
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And I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue?
~~~
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading anomosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
~~~
Heaven on earth
We need it now
Im sick of all of this
Hanging around
Sick of sorrow
Im sick of the pain
Im sick of hearing
Again and again
That theres gonna be
Peace on earth
~~~
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no
~~~
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse
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[02 Jan 2007|07:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
] |
school is one of those things where it drags on forever, and yet races by all at the same time
and if you really think about it, its kind of scary
because day by day its an eternity
but week by week, or month by month, or year by year... it just vanishes
19 months till I graduate
thats the flat honest truth
thats a whole thing of its own
I just wanted to point it out
the main idea here was that I really want to get better at the school game
I'm held on without really working for it, but now I'm actually going to work for it
now my classes will be easier a less essay-filled
and I will not miss a week's worth at school at the end of the quarter
I'll do homework every night, even if nothing is due the next day
particularly in spanish
I'm not going to blow it off,
I'm going to work,
I'm going to study,
and I am going to go in for help.
and best of all, I'm going to fucking like it
I'm very excited for my new classes, they are really going to freshen up school
foods
and art
yay
I better shut up before this mood wears off
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[08 Nov 2006|10:32pm] |
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lost is a whore
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| ah |
[07 Nov 2006|07:55pm] |
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CIMI withdrawls
-meep-
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| meep |
[02 Nov 2006|05:55pm] |
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I just got on and realized that Maggie has left LJ... -cries-
maggie I miss you come back
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| returned |
[12 Aug 2006|07:32pm] |
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I have been home for less than 24 hours and it already feels like too long, I dont understand how I can miss one place... so many people all at once. I am not acustom to that at all.
I am currently at Danee's house, giving the two love birds some alone time, since I know I'd want it too. Going over to my baby's house later tonight, not for long though, I have to be home by 11:30, not that they are awake to see what time I get home anyways.
I dont think there is any LJ entry that can serve the past 3 weeks, actually I know that there isnt. CIMI cant be stated on a computer screen, expressed with words, it just cant be done. Its too amazing, and its so hard to explain to someone that hasn't experienced it.
I dont have that much time here, we are ordering pizza and such but I had an amazing three weeks, just wonderful, the only way they could have been better, is with a certain someone who I did not get to kiss, or hold, or even fucking hear her voice. That was abusive, other than that it was so kick ass.
I went to Morgi's party last night, got to see my baby for the first time in forever, met kirstie who I have wanted to meet for forever as well. It was nice, so nice, even through the hot pool and other people I didnt know. Oh well a party is a party, I got to see my baby <3
I'll try to sum up CIMI later, I guess I can interact with human people for a little while
<3
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| good song... |
[08 Jun 2006|11:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none suprisingly |
] |
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
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[24 May 2006|02:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab For Cutie |
] |
Okay so its Wensday, but I am going back to Tuesday... Because Tuesday was more fun that today is going xD.
So last real day of school. Pretty exciting, didnt feel like it was the last day of Soph yeah though. Gunna miss my classes a lot, well, at least most of them. So we got out at 11:15... hella early. Guess what lovely lady came home with me? ::Grin:: My luv n I went home with the carpool. Adam was driving, racing some guy home, usual. It was fun though, windows down, music blasting, laughing and watching though the windows to see if the other car could pass us. We dropped Mark off at home and then it was just us three. Me n Adam talked. Usual things; cars, music, sheshaw, whatever. He hit the record on McMemy, 80 mph.
Then me n Nala went inside, got settled in my room. It was just after 12 and we had the house to ourselves. So yeah we had fun. Just chilling in my room. Playing around, tickling woo hoo. The cutie was a little sick, she felt hot. But yeah so we studied actually. Spanish mostly. Whispering words into her ear, teasing her, kissing her on her knee and odd places, while she said what it was in spanish. She got uneasy once the family was home. Don't blame the gal, I understand, but it still sucks. She was all tired, kept trying to get her to take a nap, not that really worked so much. I made some black bean soup for us. N we went back to the books. After awhile we went out to eat dinner with the family and then she we had to take her home. I would have liked her to stay but you know the whole, shes at her dad's, its a school night thing kinda interfered with that. Anyways, Went home, watched Buffy and that concluded the evening. yep.
So now, I am sitting at home, quite bored, I keep getting distracted. Buying music or something. Today was the first day of finals, which by the way it doesnt feel like it at all. Adam n I did a Jamba Juice stop. They have the bed effing apple cinnamon apple bagels there, yummm. Then we just hung out in his car, which is nice. Getting into ethical debates or other deep things. Todays topic: the fact that we are actually getting older, we are actually going to graduate, move out, and eventually die. Its really odd, how something that you know you know, like that, can catch you so off gaurd, or when you talk about it... seem so foreign. It makes you think. Anyways, I made yummy rice and watched the last episode of buffy that I have and then Free Willy Two. Dont laugh I love that movie, I miss my whales damn it. Oh course I am sitting around in sophies and a sports bra when Lina n the other girls came to clean. I had to awkwardly get into my room to put on a tank top because I felt naked lol. Me n Lina talked a bit, her English is pretty damn good, I was really impresed. I wish I could speak spanish that well. She was telling me about her son, asking me about school. She saw my painting and started talking about how talented me and my mom were. I tried speaking in as much spanish as I could. She thought it was funny. She gave me a few little tips here and there. I am going to have to ask Sol online if she can help me with my verbs and stuff. Maybe only start writting to me in spanish haha.
So they left and I am now playing around on the computer attempting to keep myself busy. House is still empty, pretty nice, I can blast my music, just the way I like it. I bought new music, which really makes me happy. Ahem...
Coming Undone, Korn
Our Truth, Lacuna Coil
Animal I Have Become, Three Days Grace
Save Me, Shinedown
Ugly, Sevendust
Bullet With a Name, Nonpoint
Fall Into Sleep, Mudvayne
Speak, Godsmack
Cold (But I'm Still Here), Evans Blue
Guarded, Disturbed
Did My Time, Korn
Before I Forget, Slipknot
Cold, Crossfade
yay.
Did I mention yay? I seriously dont know what I would do without my music.
So summer school starts really soon, and I hope that it goes by quickly. I really cant stand US history, too many names, places and wars. Bleh, its not even that interesting. We didnt do anything cool, just took peoples land, killed people, got sick, killed people, and built huge buildings.
I am getting so distracted by the X-men site, it is amazing.
I leave for CO soon, like really soon. I have to start packing tonight. Retry on dresses, talk to Lindsey on the phone and get the details of what I am doing in the wedding.
yeah so yeah
I think I am done now lol
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| these are... |
[07 May 2006|05:58pm] |
the things that make my day...
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16986
C for Cookie!
Veggieeater200 (5:55:47 PM): My mother is trying to play DDR.... I can hear her stomping around right now
Wolfie1988 (6:07:49 PM): We used to share a room...We had bunk-beds for a time...And he used to kick me, in his sleep, from the bottom bunk.
Wolfie1988 (6:08:44 PM): I so wish I was kidding.
EternalAbyss543 (6:09:00 PM): that. is. amazing.
Wolfie1988 (6:09:20 PM): He also talks in his sleep...I didn't get a good-night's sleep for about 14 years...
Steph- god damit!!!! no one ever takes ME to Mexico!!!!
Caitlin- such a sweetie! <3
yay!
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| sublime <3 |
[24 Apr 2006|07:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored lalalala |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
uh sublime |
] |
Mucho gusto me llamo bradley,
(glad to meet you my name is bradley)
Im hornier than ron jeremy,
And if you wanna get popped in your knee,
Just wipe that look off your bati face
You hate me cause I got what you need,
A pretty little daughter that we call mixie, and,
If you wanna get beat physically
It will be over in a minute if ya
So she told me to come over and I took that trip
And then then she pulled out my mushroom tip
And when it came out, it went drip drip drip
I didnt know she had the g.i. joe, kung foo grip
And it went - uhh
And the girl caress me down- uhh
And thats that lovin sound- it went uhh
And the girl caress me down- uhh
And thats that lovin sound
When I kiss mixie she makes me feel horny,
Cause I’m the type of lover with the sensitivity,
When she kiss my neck and tickle me frenzy,
The right kind of lover on sunday morning.
En el otro lado es donde vivi,
(on the other side is where I lived (in the u.s.))
Con mi hijita, que se llama mixie,
(with my little daughter, who’s name is mixie)
Y su hermana, si me quiere,
(and her sister, she really likes me)
Y ya horita, tenemos un bebe,
(and in a moment, we’ll have a baby)
Sus padres sus tios me trataron matar
(your parents, your uncles tried to kill me)
But they did not get too far
Un poco despues tuve que regresar
(a little while later I had to come back)
Con un chingo de dinero
(with a shit load of money)
Cause you know I’m a star
Me fui a costa rica
(I went to costa rica)
Para tomar y sufear
(to drink and surf)
Placticaba con la rasa
(talking with the homies)
Cause they know who we are
Si no so dio cuenta
(if you didnt take notice)
Then I bet you never were
You must be a muneca
(you must be a sissy doll)
If your still standing still
And it went - uhh
And the girl caress me down- uhh
And thats that lovin sound- it went uhh
And the girl caress me down- uhh
And thats that lovin sound
Me gusta mi reggae,
(I like my reggae)
Me gusta punk rock,
(I like punk rock)
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,
(but the thing I like most is pussy)
Ponga la nalga en la aire if you know who you are,
(put your ass in the air if you know who you are)
Ponga la nalga en la aire y empieza gritar,
(put your ass in the air and start to yell)
No tenga miedo, I’m your papi,
(don’t be scared, I’m your dad..)
Take your chones, y les mandan a mi,
(take your panties and send them to me)
Levanta, levanta, tienes que gritar,
(get up, get up, you have to yell)
Levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar.
(get up, get up, you have to dance)
And it went - uhh
And the girl caress me down- uhh
And thats that lovin sound- it went uhh
And the girl caress me down- uhh
And thats that lovin sound
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| gah |
[22 Mar 2006|07:48pm] |
I have no sense of good luck
life is fighting me completly
I will be raving more later, for now, I need to get out this angery/sadness/confusion
gah
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[21 Mar 2006|08:24pm] |
Aloha e aloha e
'Ano 'ai ke aloha e
Aloha ae aloha e
A nu ay ki aloha e
There’s no place I’d rather be
Then on my surfboard out at sea
Lingering in the ocean blue
And If I had one wish come true
I’d surf till the sun sets
Beyond the horizon
A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu
A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
La we mai iko papa he na lu
Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha
O ka moana hanupanupa
Lalala i kala hanahana
Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one
Helehele mai kakou e
There’s no place I’d rather be
Than on the seashore dry, wet free
On golden sand is where I lay
And if I only had my way
I'd play til the sun sets
Beyond the horizon
I love that song
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| what a beautiful day |
[22 Feb 2006|11:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Disturbed |
] |
The cleaning folk are over so I am outide. It is really warm n sunny out today, its pretty nice. Maybe I'll get some color in my PJ pants lol.
It was kinda cool cause they were all talking in spanish and I could follow moost of what they were saying.
So me n mousie are playing around outside, she's really cute and she is eating and drinking really well. I dont have to worry about her dying on me during the night at all. She is really cute, soon she is gunna get big on me.
Fell asleep on the phone last night with my baby. I was pretty tired, she was still awake and whatnot when I was getting sleepy but she told me to wake her up in the morning, and her phone was dead when I called this morning. Anyways she just got on aim. I am kinda bummed cause the sweatshirt of mine that she had had for the past few months totally changed smells on me durning the night and now smells like some sort of hotel. Which generally sucks cause I want it to smell like her, not some forgein room.
I am so sick of what we are doing in art, I really dont like what I am working on.
My itunes isnt working which is really being to annoy me
I have totally mastered typing without looking at the keyboard... acutally I think I did that a while ago but I have just now realized it lol
I am going to be killed over by track and lifeguarding. I have to be at track at 3:30, then leave a little early and drive straight down to LG. which starts at 5 and will last untill a painful 8:30.
School starts tomorrow, I kinda dont want it to. I have liked feeling like it is summer. It is already getting pretty hot out here, which is funny cause I was really cold when I was inside. I let mousie play in the grass, the little gal was sniffing the life outta her, she looked kinda scared and kept nuzzling up against me so I put her back in my shirt.
The shade feels really really nice.
I cant wait for summer, or for another free weekend. I miss my baby. I had so much fun yesterday. it was so nice to see her all day. God I wanna do that more often. I'll have to see what my Friday plans are, see if maybe I could start taking her home.. oh I'll have to check with the carpool. That would be really fun.
I am pretty much just rambling at this point so i think I am going to do the smart thing and just walk away from the computer lol.
<3
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| still effing sick |
[06 Feb 2006|05:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
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| [ |
music |
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none |
] |
I cant make up my mind if I think being sick is a sign or if its a curse. I don't feel up for anything, it hurts to just stand up, and if I jogg just a little, like down a hallway I get really out of breath and my legs hurt. AKA I am in no shape to be trying out for track, I dont think I will be able to do it. What is really odd about that is I dont know if that is a good or a bad thing, I love running, its really fun, and I am not half bad at it... sometimes, right now I might be able to pull off a 15 minute mile... maybe. I think I would like to do karate or something of that nature and my mom wants me to take music lessons, piano I think is what she wants, that works for me, although I have no musical talent. Whatever I am grandly confused.
I couldnt even do fitness today, I went to the nurse and slept for an hour, I felt better after that but gosh, I felt like crap. My nose is sooooo sore from blowing it constantly, my throat is sore, like really. I have felt like I was going to sneeze all day, my sinus's hurt like a mother, and I have a headache from hell. Plus the chills, and hot flashes.... uuuuugh. nasty shit. If I am still feeling nasty tomorrow I might go in again, it was really nice just to sleep.
James gave me two not one but two detentions for talking before class, I can follow one, I think two is being a little harsh, but I dont mind detention at all, it is the only way I will focus on hw, and it is an excuse to stay for 8th hour. Fun stuff in my opinion.
I got a 72 on my bio test, I wanted beter, I wanted an 82 but I guess thats just life, I did really well on the written portion, 26 out of 30. Its the actual test that just freaks me out. And her herself, I really wish she liked me more, or that I was better at this stuff, it is so disapointing. I feel so stupid for sucking in my favorite subject, I mean I want to be a MB and I cant even pass Biology. I have a 66 I think in that class, if she had taken my stupid paper I would have a 92. Shesh. I will have a 92 in English, and about the same in spanish if I actually do this hw assignment. I need to work on my art project, its not going as well as my first, which is really sad, cause I want this to go well. ::crosses fingers::
my mom yelled at me for my "why are all the cool chicks lesbians?" pin a lot. She said that if I want to be openly gay that I have to wait till I am 18... personally I will just keep it fairly quiet till I am out of the house. Its scary how it is not that far away, I cant even think about it, yet I am counting it down... I dont understand myself.
I got to cuddle with my baby a bit more today, I swear if I get her sick aaaaarg. Buuuut it is almost tuesday and I get to see her all afternoon on friday, I cant wait. She is so cute, she has been giving me this really adorable, innocent, loving smile and it just makes your heart wanna melt. Well and kiss her but that just has to be ignored... I am getting better at that, at school anyways. She walks into my front door and I just wanna pin her to a wall or something. Yeeeeah pretty much. It doesnt even cross my mind that I am kissing a girl, to me its just kissing someone I care for a lot, its not wrong, or sinful, or unnatural in my mind at all. It sucks that most people cant follow that. I almost wonder if it occurs to her at all, it hasnt for me since Julie. Which is a really long time, I dont think it ever occured to me with her in any way shape or form, I am trying to figure out if that is a good thing or a bad thing...
Her birthday is soon, that cutie. 16 holy shit. All of her presents havent come yet, it is making me uneasy if fact I think I should go run and check the mail soon. I can only hope that I can make hers as good as mine, I feel like I dont have anything for her at all, we will see it doesnt feel like enough to me.
Kath was talking about her a lot this morning, it always makes me a little uneasy. Her talking about her reference to nat and rainbows, or how she thought about her a ton while she was away, or constantly asking where nat is, or when she is going to get here, how much she misses her, etc. That another one of those I dont know situatations. Nat always tells me not to think or worry about it, but I guess it is my uneasy bit. She always is about kissing me or being around people, I just am when Kath talks about her a lot... I know I could be easily over reacting but... it still bothers me just a little. Nothing bad though I guess, and I am good with everyone else... okay no I am a little on edge about mad but that is a whole different story. Whatever I just need to not think about it i guess.
I miss her, it is funny how quickly I start to miss her. I am going to call her when she gets back from swimish, if my rents go out, i might have to wait till later once they all fall asleep. What can I say she makes me feel better, and her voice before I fall asleep is the best thing ever, excepting her hugs or a kiss. Meep.
I cant get my pictures to load onto my computer which is aggrivating me. And I still feel gross and sick. My face is breaking out and I really detest it. Grrr. Yeah, I think I am going to take a nap, or work on some homework. I cant think of anything else to whine about, what a shock.
<3 that one girl
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eternalabyss543's journal
okay
